Tales Out Of Court

jd collins EMAIL: dean@rpps.freeservers.com

The Tales Out of Court were a collection of vignettes about the life in the courts. It was meant to present the human side of law in a way not ordinarily exposed in literaure. Each tale was intended to speak to a particular facet of the legal processes, avoiding the tendency to paint Gorgons so evil the devil will run in fright or Gallahads so pure, Christ would find Himself redundant.

Some Tales found their way into IF ALL MEN WERE ANGELS. now available at The Bookden.

Many of the Tales, particularly those that deal with military topics were buttonholed elsewhere. see, also - "Military Police Blotter" - Military Courtroom Drama from J.D. Collins.

The Tales Out of Court went through the hands of the legendary publisher Bill Loepkey into the much acclaimed Inditer Dot Com of Canada. Bill was a remarkable editor for his willingness to consider topics not spoken of inside the US, the social dislocation caused by The Third INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION and the computor age.

Against advancing illness and frustration which the legal system imposed, Bill Loepkey promoted literature and culture on the internet. It is no small recognition that his countrymen have hono[u]red Bill in their Bibliotek Nationale.

JD COLLINS' other writings include the ENCLAVE trilogy begun in the Enclave published by INDITER DOT COM and carried into Bounds and then Pictures on the Wall published by Fullosia Press.

The editor of Inditer called Enclave "weird." @2002 by jd collins

jdcollins is the author of IF ALL MEN WERE ANGELS the dickenesque story of change and rigidity at the dawn of the computor age.

Life did change. Was it for the better?

Read IF ALL MEN WERE ANGELS Available through Denlingers, quality Books since 1927.

Pop-Pop
For Jodi Martusciello - - - from 'Tales Out of Court'

by John Davis Collins.....© 2000 by John F. Clennan, All Rights Reserved

It was a rare occasion in the High Summer of August to sit on the back porch and read the newspaper. My attention was attracted to an article on a medical malpractice trial which was the talk of the town at the moment, not so much for its intrinsic merit, but because both sides has assembled an army of motivational experts, publicity consultants, psychologist and seers to assist in jury selection.

I winced; I often wondered what if I had that type of backing.
These new arts had passed me by. I had to judge upon the less scientific feel of the moment. They have King Solomon’s sword; I have to use lesser means by reaching for everything I know, I muttered.

Shuddering from the newspaper account of the legions of experts, I looked up to find two muscular curly dark haired men standing over me … the Colluzzo twins.

"Contracting business slow. So you have time to rough up the local lawyer." I greeted them.

"No sir," one laughed. "Problem with Pop-pop."

Pop-pop, the elder Colluzzo was getting up in years but despite accidents and injuries, still got up at 4:00 a.m. to do the heavy work.

"Is Pop-pop ill?" I asked with an attempt at a professional look of concern. I did have the elder Colluzzo’s Will in my vault.

"Naw. Pop-pop still’s up by crack of dawn and out hauling concrete."

Yes old Pop-pop Colluzzo was one roustabout.

I remembered the day Pop-pop Colluzzo introduced himself and came in For a Will. Closing the door on his family, Pop-pop said "all to sons … Jack and John."

"You have one son called Jack also called John," I asked.

"No. One is John. The other, Jack." The elder replied. "Come to America. Twins are born. The nurse she shows me, asks for names. Me, I want real American names: John for John Wayne and Jack for Jack Kennedy. I no speak English so good like now."

In the present, I asked the twins. "So what can I do?"

"Pop-pop," the twins answered, "Been seen up at the courthouse. Pop-pop swore he’d never go up there again."

I remembered why Pop-pop swore off law and lawyers. One of his daughter-in-laws decided Pop-pop was too old to drive. So she drove him on his errands...right into a brick wall.

The pre-trial hearing turned into a circus. Pop-pop became frustrated trying to testify in English. "Car she zoom," Pop-pop gesticulated, "then boom --- smack." He clapped his hands.

The court intrepretor was summoned to allow Pop-Pop to testify in Italian.

The university trained court interpreter after two minutes of listening to Pop-pop’s Italian reported, "He’s not speaking Italian .. or any version I know."

"Wait a second," I listened carefully to Pop’s words as I summoned the best of my High School French. " Un moment. La famille Colluzzo est-elle de la province de Piedmont, pres de France vrai … correct?"

A smile blossomed on Pop-pop’s face. "Yeah. How’d ‘y’ know?"

The insurance lawyer a tall dark Italian-American smiled. "Parlemo Italiano." My adversary said to me, adding with a gentle tap on the knee, "Lets talk Turkey.". The case settled on the spot, but Pop-pop wasn’t pleased.

"English not good enough for court. Not good enough to be real Amercain." Pop grumbled indignantly.

In the present, the Colluzzo boys informed me that Pop-pop continued to work at 4AM, but abruptly left by 8, went home to shower and to dress in his Sunday best.

I promised to nose around the courthouse to find out what Pop-pop was up to.

But before I went off on my errand, I continued with the article.

"The result of this trial by expert is a scientifically selected jury uniquely capable to determine to complex issues."

It didn’t take me long to find Pop-pop in the courtroom packed with $1000 suits watching for every eyelash fluttered in the jury box. There sat Pop-pop beaming with pride, in the corner of the jury box with hand folded. He was the Foreman.

The Judge noticed me in the courtroom and asked if I had any business before the tribunal before trial resumed.

"No your honor, I just wanted to see what a scientifically selected jury looks like." I shot a wink to Pop-pop before I left the courtroom.

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